Replace your expectations for appreciation, it will change your life!
“Trade your expectation for appreciation and the world changes instantly.” ~ Tony Robbins
If you want to have fulfillment, I am not talking about achievement, I understand achievement is a set of other principles, but to be fulfilled, trade your expectation for what? … for Appreciation, it changes your whole life.
Expectation is just like an opinion — everyone has one — and they don’t always match up to the other person’s thoughts. Bickering can be born of of this which is a problem.
Fortunately, there is a solution! When our focus is squared center on our differences in expectations, rather than our appreciation for the things the other person does “right,” conflict is always inevitable. The way any two people decide to fold the towels, for instance, will probably differ… but does that make one of the ways wrong? Of course not. Expectations with no appreciation leads to nagging, which leads to frustration, which leads to…you guessed it, bickering.
That sentiment can apply to anything in life, but if we apply that same thought to our relationships, appreciation can be the trigger that puts an end to your relationship bickering for good.
Enjoy this compilation of Jim Carrey’s wisdom. Sure to be the most beneficial 4 minutes of your day!
Jim Carrey – Meaning in Life (Transcript)
I watched the affect of my fathers love and humor and how it altered the world around me, and I thought, that’s something to do. That’s something worth my time.
When I was about 28, after a decade as a comedian, I realized one night in LA that the purpose of my life has always been to free people from concern, just like my Dad. I did something that made people present their best selves to me wherever I go.
How will you serve the world? What do they need that your talent can provide? That’s all you have to figure out.
I can tell you from experience, the affect you have on others is the most valuable currency there is.
Because ultimately, we are not the avatars we create. We are not the pictures on the film
stock. We are the light that shines thru. All else is just smoke and mirrors, distracting but not truly compelling.
That piece that we are after, lies somewhere beyond personality, beyond the perception of others, beyond invention of the skies, even beyond effort itself.
You can join the game, fight the wars, play with form all you want… but to find real peace you have to live beyond your ability.
Your need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world. Don’t let anything stand in the way of the light that shines thru the form. Risk being seen in all of your glory.
I have often said that I wish people could realize all their dreams, wealth and fame so they can see it is not where you are going to find your sense of completion.
Like many of you, I was concerned about going out into the world and doing something bigger than myself. Until someone smarter than
myself made me realize that there is nothing bigger than myself.
Our eye are not viewers, they are also projectors, that are running a second story over the picture that we see in front of us all of the time. Fear is writing that script. The working title is “I’ll Never Be Enough.”
It’s just a matter of making a choice of perceiving challenges as something beneficial, so that I can deal with them in the most productive way.
You will come up with your own style, that’s part of the fun.
“Life doesn’t happen to you, life happens for you.”
“You only ever have two choices, Love or fear, choose Love, and don’t ever let fear turn you against your playful heart. All what will be left of you is what was in your heart.”
“My soul is not contained within the limit of my body, my body is contained within the limitless of my soul.”
“You can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance at doing what you do love.”
“Relax and dream up a good life.”
You can spend a whole life imagining ghost, worrying about the pathway to the future, but all there will ever be is what is happening here and the decisions that we make in this moment which are based on either Love or fear.
So many of us choose our lives out of fear disguised as practicality. What we really want seems impossibly out of reach and ridiculous to expect so we never dare to ask the Universe for it. I am saying, I am the proof that you can ask the Universe for it.
These two words – Letting Go – are very easy to say but can be challenging to actually do. Some of the things we might be trying to let go include:
Past Events or Behaviors
Letting Go describes a simple and effective means by which to let go of the obstacles to Enlightenment and become free of negativity. During the many decades of the author’s clinical psychiatric practice, the primary aim was to seek the most effective ways to relieve human suffering in all of its many forms. The inner mechanism of surrender was found to be of great practical benefit and is described in this book.
When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.— Lao Tzu
Some benefits to letting things, related to the above list, go in your life are: happiness, success, health, well-being, intuition, unconditional love, beauty, inner peace and creativity.
Many of us think the key to happiness and success results from hard work, discipline and commitment, when in reality, many times the secret is surrendering and letting go to reach your goals.
Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender
Here is a brief video of Dr David R. Hawkins giving a A Lesson on Surrender. When asked to describe surrender to a three year old so that they know they are doing it right his response: “Quit trying.”
About the Author:
Sir David R. Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D., is an internationally renowned psychiatrist, consciousness researcher, spiritual lecturer, and mystic. Author of more than eight books, including the bestseller Power vs. Force, Dr. Hawkins’s work has been translated into more than 17 languages.
Suze Orman’s 16 wishes for how you can make the most of your money in 2016
As we turn the corner into a new year, my biggest hope is that peace and happiness is in great abundance for each and every one of you and all those you love.
There should be no bigger focus than building and nurturing that peace and happiness. But there is also always room to focus on the ways you can continue to build financial security in 2016. The progress you make on taking control of your money will, after all, bring even more happiness and peace into your life.
This practical, systematic approach to financial freedom is divided into three parts. The first one takes us back to our most formative experiences with money. We do this in order to break free of financial worries and take control of our feelings about money. The next part contains the Must Dos, the Laws of Money. We’ll find out about trusts and wills, credit card debt, saving for retirement, the insurance we should and shouldn’t have, and much more. In the third part, we learn the true secrets of the money cycle and realize that we cannot measure our self-worth by our net worth.
Money Made Easy
Here are my 16 wishes for how you can make the most of your money in 2016:
Focus on what you have, not what you don’t have.
Recognize that every dollar you save today and every dollar of debt you pay down today is an important step to the future you deserve. As long as you are moving in the right direction, you are in control of your future. Be patient. You will get where you want to be.
If you have credit card debt, pay off the highest rate debt first. And be sure to make at least the minimum payment due on all your credit cards.
Check that there are no mistakes or instances of fraud on your credit report. The only place you should ever go to get a free credit report is annualcreditreport.com
Sign up for email or text alerts for your checking accounts and all your credit card and debit accounts. It has never been easier to stay on top of your balances, or be able to spot fraud the moment it happens.
If your employer offers you a company matching contribution to its retirement plan, be sure to contribute enough to earn the maximum match.
If you have the option of a Roth 401(k), give it a long look. I think it is a fantastic deal.
Say no out of love, rather than yes out of fear. Keep this in mind as people come to you for financial help throughout the year. You are never to loan someone money, or co-sign a loan unless you are certain it will actually help that person (not just enable more questionable behavior) and you can truly afford to offer help.
If you are buying a car and need financing, make it your goal to purchase a car that you can afford with a three-year loan. (No leases!) Don’t take out a longer loan; it’s a ploy car companies use to get you to buy more expensive cars.
Focus on the long-term. Even if you are in your 50s or older, you likely have decades more life ahead of you. Don’t be too conservative with your investments. Over the long term – decades – stocks have delivered the best inflation-beating gains.
If you want to find the best financial advisor, look in the mirror. No one will ever care more about your money, and what you make of that money, than you. If you don’t yet feel like you are “good” with money, make it a priority to build your personal finance IQ in 2016.
If you have a college-bound child, do not, I repeat, DO NOT take out any private loans for college. They are just too risky. Focus on federal loans.
Check all your retirement plan and insurance beneficiaries. Can’t remember whom you named? That’s exactly my point! Make sure your money will go exactly where you want.
Enough procrastinating. Please make this the year you once and for all get your Must Have Documents in place.
Live below your means but within your needs. Follow this rule and you will always be powerful with money.
You are never powerful in life until you are powerful over your own money. How you feel, think and act with it. May 2016 be your most powerful year yet.
About the Author
Suze Orman has been called “a force in the world of personal finance” and a “one-woman financial advice powerhouse” by USA Today. A two-time Emmy Award-winning television host, New York Times mega bestselling author, magazine and online columnist, writer/producer, and one of the top motivational speakers in the world today, Orman is undeniably America’s most recognized expert on personal finance.
It’s Never Too Late to Have a New Beginning – Transcript:
I love new beginnings. You know there’s that expression that it’s never too late to have a happy childhood. It’s never too late to have a new beginning.
What I love about new beginnings is you can begin to really let go of the past, the past does not need to equal the future. People tend to think, well its always been this way or I have always had challenges. If you have the belief as I do that literally in this moment today you can start anew. The past does not need to equal the future, so it can be.
I love new beginnings. Change is scary and I guess the best way is to know you are going to be scared, and just acknowledge it. You know, yeah I’m scared and I’m starting fresh and new.
Yes, I don’t like change and I am starting fresh and new.
What you resist persist. So if you say, “I don’t want to be afraid, I’m not going to be afraid,” guess what, the fears there it just gets dug in deeper.
But if you face the fear, you know that expression face the fear; do it anyway. Just like I am afraid and I’m stepping forward into the unknown and that is usually what is so scary.
We just don’t know, but to be willing to acknowledge that you don’t know and to step forward and do it anyway. That is an act of power, that is an act of courage and that’s worth while pursuing.
Ceremonies have been done since the beginning of human kind. To literally write down your past, write down these are the events that have happened in my past. This didn’t work. Ugh this was bad. Oh I’m kind of embarrassed about this. Just write it all down. Make a big fire and symbolically say to yourself, say to the universe, “I release the past.”
21 Days to Fabulous, Glorious Abundance! Online Course
Yes, I did that thing. I am kind of embarrassed. You know, make amends, do what you can to fix it, change it; heal it. But then get on with your life.
Just write it all down, roll it up, put it in the paper and as that fire ignites the paper say to yourself:
The past is done.
I am starting fresh.
I am starting new.
This is a new day!
Denise Linn, the best-selling author of 16 books, has researched healing traditions from cultures around the world for more than 35 years. As a renowned lecturer, author, and visionary, she regularly gives seminars on six continents, and also appears extensively on television and radio shows.
Tony Robbins leads this very powerful exercise, which he calls the Emotional Flood, and begin to flood yourself with positive experiences.
More by Tony Robbins:
A Journey of Things You are Grateful
Put your hands on your heart, close your eyes, and now we are going on a brief journey of things you are Grateful about, but first physically feel your heart.
Breathe deep in your heart.
Feel the power of your heart.
Feel the strength of your heart.
Feel Grateful in your heart and what it has guided you to do in this life, to give and to be.
Think about, you didn’t have to buy this heart, didn’t have to earn it, something thought enough of you to give you this gift of life, without doing anything, instantly when you are born. As long as it beats you are alive.
Right now, step into a moment in your life that you can feel deep feelings of Gratitude for. Any moment at all, from your childhood or as an adult, a moment you can feel deep feelings of Gratitude.
Breath in your heart, step into that moment and see what you saw then, hear what you heard then, feel what you felt then right now.
Feel so Grateful, feel that moment was sacred, that it was blessed, that you were blessed.
Take it in.
Don’t just think it, see, feel, be there.
Now reach out and bring in another memory that you can be Grateful for, any moment at all, just bring it into your heart, on top of the one that is already there bring it in. Step in and feel that power and grace of that moment.
And then bring a third moment in. Maybe this moment could be a coincidence. We all love coincidences because we did nothing for it, something just happened. You met somebody, you went somewhere, and that led to something magnificent in your life, something that you are so Grateful, a person, a relationship, an insight, a life change.
Step into the Gratitude of that moment and feel it as well.
Take your hand off your heart and continue to breathe and go on a journey of these last two minutes of moments in your life that you are Grateful for, feeling each one in your body like you are there.
And now shift to moments you are proud about, quickly we are going to do moments rapidly. Reach out and grab a moment in your life that you are proud about, bring in a moment you are proud. Someone you are proud, your children, yourself. Bring that into your heart, a moment of pride, feeling proud. Breathe the way you do when you feel proud, along with the Gratitude.
Think of something you have accomplished in your life, small or big, that you feel proud about and bring that in.
Think of a romantic, or sensual, or sexy moment and bring that in too. Bring it into your heart, on top of the things you are Grateful for, on top of the things you are proud about, a sexy moment, a sensual moment, a romantic moment.
Bring in a moment that made you laugh out loud. Did you ever laugh so hard that milk came out your nose or something like that? Bring into your heart when you felt this incredible laughter, over something so silly.
Bring in a special moment with family or friends on a moment that’s magical for you. Bring that in your heart as well and stack it on top of all the others.
Bring in a moment that was pure excitement. Make the sound that you do when you are excited, bring that into your body. Make that sound of excitement out loud.
And now for 10 seconds, reach out and bring in moments from the future like getting and advance view of what’s coming, moments of Love, moments of excitement, moments of romance, and moments of accomplishments. Bring them in fast. Bring your hand in 10 times real quick. Bring them in and at the end just shout the word YES! Say Yes!
And now open your eyes.
How many of you thought about things you have not thought about in a long time.
As a young child, Tania Luna left her home in post-Chernobyl Ukraine to take asylum in the US. And one day, on the floor of the New York homeless shelter where she and her family lived, she found a penny. She has never again felt so rich. A meditation on the bittersweet joys of childhood — and how to hold them in mind.
More by Tania Luna
How a Penny Made Me Feel Like a Millionaire
Growing up with very poor, Tania Luna was impacted by the Chernobyl accident, spends a year in the hospital but the silver lining was that her family gets asylum to the United States.
With expectations of rare and wonderful things: such as banana’s, chocolate, and Bazooka bubble gum which she would get once a year and chew on for a week.
At the age of six, the first day they arrive in New York, she and her grandmother found a penny on the floor of the homeless shelter they are staying in, although they thought they were in a hotel with lots of rats.
They figured the penny was left behind by a very wealthy man since regular people just don’t lose money. She holds the penny in the palm of her hand and to her if feels like she is holding a fortune.
She decides that she will by her very own piece of bubble gum. And in that moment she feels like a millionaire. A year later she gets the same feeling when they find a bag of toys in a dumpster and she had more toys than she had in her entire life. Another story of eat her first pizza that was mistakenly delivered to the apartment and they could not afford, “but the pizza is delicious.”
Ten years later her family wishes to celebrate by renting a room at the hotel they first stayed in when arriving to the U.S. The man at the front desk laughed and says they can’t reserve a room here this is a homeless shelter, and they were shocked.
Her husband, Brian, was also homeless in his childhood and had a treasure box of comic books and GI Joe’s painted like Spiderman. It was his own assembly of hero’s that kept him from giving up on his dreams.
They rescued their dog Scarlett who was previously used as bait for dog fights to make the other dogs more aggressive before they fought. Now these days, she eats organic food, sleeps on an orthopedic bed with her name on it, but when they pour water in her bowl she still looks up and wags her tail in Gratitude.
When they walk with Scarlett in the park and she rolls thru the grass, and they look at her and then each other and they feel Gratitude. They forget about all our new middle class frustrations and disappointments and they feel like millionaires.
Goldie Hawn recently spoke at an event called Dreamforce in San Francisco where she shared her insight on mindfulness and teaching our children how to thrive as a skill.
Cultivating social and emotional skills that draw from cognitive neuroscience, positive psychology and mindful awareness training to help children prepare them for a volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous world. Hear what the data is telling us about how to enable children to be able to navigate 21st century challenges while maximizing opportunities for success in life and a bright future.
Teaching Children Mindfulness
Look and imagine a future differently. Look at the opportunity to understand how we can improve our lives, our hearts, our spirit, our health, and our relationships in every way thru the practice of mindfulness.
Goldie Hawn shares her story of being 11 years old and how seeing a film that was traumatizing.
At a very young age Goldie was asked “What do you want to be when you grow up?” and her response was:
I want to be happy.
As her career grew she started to feel that she was moving away from true self, that which made her happy.
In 1971, she was initiated with Transcendental Meditation (TM) and she started meditating. After practicing TM for many years, Goldie continued to study more and went on to study the brain connected to meditation.
Our reality is created by what we think, what we do, and the choices that we make.
Humans are a rare breed; we have metacognition, the awareness and understanding of one’s own thought processes. We get to see who and what we are doing.
After the 9/11 attacks, she knew that our lives, our world would never be the same. It would not have the kind of freedom that we had before. This brought her back to when she was 11 and felt the trauma.
There is a way to mitigate the fear and frenzy of the mind. We now understand the effects of Mindfulness, Mindfulness attention, meditation, call it what you will.. focused attention can calm us down, calm down the limbic system so that we can make cognitive decisions without all the emotions that drive us that are negative.
One in five of our children has a mental disorder of some kind. Suicide is the second leading cause of death for people 15 to 24 years of age. They are sad, lonely, stressed, and have been given no tools to mitigate any of their fears, their anxieties, their stress.
Over 500,000 children are doing MindUP™, which is a program that incorporates Mindfulness. The program teaches kids to understand their brain, to strengthen their attention and optimism. It is designed to give them tools so they can flourish, the best they can. Children need to have joy in their classroom, a sense of optimism. The teachers are trained differently, learning how Gratitude changes the brain, how habituating positive thoughts changes the brain. It’s a dance for evolution.
There is no wrong answer about Mindfulness, no wrong answer about tasting and smelling because we are all amazingly different. Embrace the diversity of all of us.
In the classroom the kids do Gratitude journals, which is an enormous benefit to their minds and hearts. Research has shown that journaling about Gratitude has pulled people out of very depressed states.
Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Every day is a new day, every day is a birthday.
The one person you need to challenge to become better in life for you, and your loved ones, and your job, is to go to the “University of You” and become the best human being you can possibly become.
Inspiration. Imagination. Innovation. It’s all inside Dreamforce sponsored by Salesforce.com
Dreamforce brings together thought leaders, industry pioneers, and thousands of your peers for a week of idea sharing.
Meng shares science, timeless wisdom and stories focused on ways to reduce stress and increase well-being, heighten focus and creativity, become more optimistic and resilient, build fulfilling relationships, or just be successful.
“The secret of happiness is be on the giving end of a kind thought,” he says. And if you practice kinds thoughts, you create kindness as a habit and you become a kind – and happier – person.” ~ Meng Tan
Meng is an early Google employee, the engineer that helped build Google’s first mobile search service, and headed the team that managed Google’s search quality.
But today he’s Google’s personal and spiritual development guru. His official title is “Jolly Good Fellow (Which nobody can deny).” It’s on his business card.
The scientific definition of Emotional Intelligence (EI) is: The ability to monitor one’s own and others feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions.
Meng’s more concise definition is:
Emotional Intellligence is the collection of emotional skills
He goes on to say, all skills are trainable, therefore Emotional Intelligence must be trainable.
How do you train Emotional Intelligence?
Meng explains three easy steps to train Emotional Intelligence:
Attention Training: Using Mindfulness to bring your mind to a state that is calm and clear and to do it on demand.
Self Knowledge and Self Mastery: Ability to understand your emotions in high resolution and begin to see them objectively. The understanding that I am not my emotions and my emotions are not me.
Create Useful Mental Habits: Specifically pro-social mental habits such as Kindness.
Here is your Homework
While you are at work, once an hour, look around the room. Pick someone and for 10 seconds think about that person, and wish that person happiness. Don’t say anything or do anything, just think your wish for the person.
The next hour, pick another person and do the same.
Watch what happens to your own attitude, your own inner happiness.
One of our great teachers, Dr. Wayne Dyer, has made his transition. His physical presence will be missed; his light shines brightly within us now and always. Eternal Love for him and his family.
“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” – Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
Nine Lessons I learned from Dr. Wayne Dyer
On Gratitude: An attitude of gratitude will take you a long way. It is good to be in awe of all that you have attracted into your life and the more you are grateful for that – the more that will flow freely into your life.
On Judgment: An objective of our life is to find a way to free ourselves of our need to judge others. This is the work of our ego and judging others prevents us from seeing the good in them. There is no value in judging others poorly. As we see others, we also see ourselves.
On Feelings: Take full responsibility for the emotional states that you choose to embrace each day. No one can make you feel any different than you choose to feel on any day. You choose your emotional state.
On Kindness: No one was ever hurt by practicing random acts of kindness. There is no difference in the words “giving” and “receiving.”
On Prosperity: Act confidently with a “knowing” that you already have all of the resources you need to succeed. It is only natural to have abundance and prosperity in your life.
On Opinions: You must be independent of the opinion of others. You control yourself and how you act on a day to day basis. No one can make you into what you are not. You are responsible to no one for your actions and thoughts except yourself.
On Intentions: Choose your intentions carefully, our intentions create our reality. We each create our own personal realities by what we focus on and intend to happen for our experiences.
On Abundance: Seize the opportunities that knock on our door every day. Embrace the possibility for abundance.
On Trust: Focus on what you want to attract for your life. Trust in the perfection of your life. Trust in yourself and in doing so, you trust in the very wisdom that created you. You already are complete, whole and perfect.
Dr. Wayne Dyer, may your light continue to shine bright in all of us. Your earthly presence will be missed, your lesson shared will continue on.
Shawn Achor is brilliant in this funny and inspiring TED talk. A two minute a day for 21 days recipe for happiness and success.
It’s not necessarily the reality that shapes us, but the lens which your brain views the world that shapes your reality.
Shawn Achor attended Harvard and was grateful to have been admitted. His assumption was that everyone that was accepted at Harvard would feel the same way; however that was not the case. What he found was that 90% of our long term happiness is predicted not by the external world but by the way your brain processes the world.
The Happiness Advantage
He goes on to describe “The Happiness Advantage” which is, when your brain is in a positive state it will perform significantly better than at a negative, neutral or stressed state. Your intelligence rises, your creativity rises, your energy levels rise. To raise somebody’s level of positivity in the present, then their brain experiences “The Happiness Advantage.”
There are ways that you can train your brain to be able to become more positive. In just a two-minute span of time done for 21 days in a row, you can actually rewire your brain, allowing your brain to actually work more optimistically and more successfully.
Here’s how, for the next 21 days take two minutes a day and do the following:
Write down three new things that you’re grateful for.
Journal about one positive experience you’ve had in the last 24 hours, this will allows your brain to relive it.
Exercise teaches your brain that your behavior matters.
Try meditation, to teach your brain to focus. Meditation allows your brain to get over the cultural ADHD that we’ve been creating by trying to do multiple tasks at once and allows our brains to focus on the task at hand.
Random acts of kindness are conscious acts of kindness. The first time you open up your inbox, write one positive email praising or thanking somebody in your support network. Spread the happy.
And by doing these activities and by training your brain just like you train your bodies, you can reverse the formula for happiness and success, and in doing so, not only create ripples of positivity, but a real revolution.
Please disrupt the endless barrage of bad news reported by the media by sharing this with your friends, right? We can all use a little more happiness.
Matthew Harding has done it again. Another wonderful video from around the world. Dance if it makes you happy!
Be Happy and Dance
I am so happy and grateful for…
My friends and chosen family, music, the Ocean, every penny I have, a wonderful world of opportunities, dancing, delicious food, the roof over my head, my health, my freedom, my talents and gifts, the Sun, Moon and the Stars, LOVE, the experiences that make me who I am, Learning new things, my bright future, Peace, Giving, Energy, my Life, Rain Forests, Meditation, the Universe, Hugs and Kisses, computers, wisdom, smiling, entertainment, Planet Earth, and the to Dance!